


Never Met!

by logans_library



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Break Up, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, give me awkward supportive logan or give me death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29012037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logans_library/pseuds/logans_library
Summary: Request for a song fic of Never Met! By Cmten and Glitch Gum from a Nonnie on tumblrAKA: Roman reaches out for closure after the ending of his QPR and is left with as many questions as he had gotten answers
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Never Met!

> Dear Roman,  
>  I find myself writing to you to inquire about your opinion on whether or not-

> Dear Roman,  
>  I know it's been a while, and given our history, I fully understand if you don't read this or take the time to reply. I was just curious about-

> Dear Roman,  
>  How have you-

Janus deleted his third drafted email that evening for what he wanted to saw was countless nights, but in reality, was barely more than a week.

"I guess you're bound and determined to pick some things up from people close to you," Janus said to himself as he walked to the bathroom to wipe a cold washcloth across his face. The shock of the cold water seemed to sort out something in his head. For better or worse, he couldn't tell, but a wet shirt collar wasn't the most comfortable. 

He glanced back at the mirror and wanted nothing more than to see Roman standing next to him in the reflection in the strange bathroom, a strong hand on his shoulder as Roman reached past him for his toothbrush in the cup like their usual morning routine. The old morning routine. 

He cursed brokenly when he looked again and it was just him alone in his new bathroom. One hairbrush on the rack, one toothbrush in the cup, and one towel hanging on the wall hooks behind him. There was no Roman with his emerald green eyes, sun freckled skin, curly chestnut hair that smelled like vanilla.

A slight ping from the other room grabbed Janus's attention and had him racing for his phone. It was from social media, but not from the one person he wanted to socialize with. Usually, he'd have had at the very least a good morning text and a call after dinner to catch up about their days if they hadn't been with each other throughout the day. 

"How easy would it be to call him?" Janus asked the empty room, "Just how easy would it be to click 3 buttons and see his face, and hear his voice and how he's doing?"

As expected, the room stayed silent as his words floated around him. 

"How hard would it be to call him and tell him I miss him?" He asked louder, starting a slight echo. 

_Really damn hard_ , he thought. He eventually decided to check what the notification was. It was pictures from Virgil's birthday party a few days before. In every shot he was in, Roman looked annoyed and his smile was blatantly forced when it was there. Janus left a little comment for Virgil focused on the decorations rather than anyone in the photos. 

Janus flicked his eyes up to see what had changed on his screen to find it was a new mutual coming active: Roman. He set himself on ignoring him, continuing his almost mindless scrolling when a message came through.

**> Can we video call please? I want to talk about something. **

_At least he wants to too_

**I'm a bit busy at the moment...**

**When will you be free?**

**I can finish in about 15 minutes**

**I'll call you then**

Janus used the fifteen minutes he gave himself to get himself a little more dressed up, at least out of work clothes and with a touch of makeup to make it look like he knows what sleep is. He gave himself another look over before calling Roman.

"Good evening Roman,"

"Hey Jan," Roman said without his usual excitement, "It's evening over there?"

"Yeah, about 7 pm. It's not that big of a difference, it's three hours,"

"Look I just wanted to talk about... why things ended? I guess?"

"Well I think that's kind of obvious," Janus's said bluntly.

"Well yeah but... Even if you hadn't moved, would we have stayed together?"

"Do you really want an answer to that?" Janus asked sympathetically. That was enough to give Roman his answer, no, he didn't want to know. But just because he didn't want it doesn't mean he didn't need it. 

"Yes, I do,"

"I think," Janus started, cleared his throat and took a deep breath, "Given how things were going, I think that we wouldn't have lasted. We definitely wouldn't have become romantic, and I doubt things could have continued as they were,"

"You're lying, right?" Roman asked, hopeful despite his welling eyes. 

"Yes," Janus sighed, "Yes, I'm lying Roman. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Kind of," He said honestly, "Why? Like, why wouldn't have things worked?"

"Roman it's not that I don't care about you, there were just a lot of issues between us,"

"Issues? You never told me about any issues," Roman hurried over his words, "Why didn't you let me know? What was wrong?"

"Oh um," Janus felt his cheeks light with embarrassment, "It's not that big of a deal,"

"Ok that was a lie," Roman pointed to him through his camera and Janus almost snickered. 

"Well," He hesitated and took on a much more sheepish tone, "It was just kind of... I felt like you'd rather be out with other people,"

"What?" 

"Like, you'd go out with Logan, and Virgil and Patton a couple times a week, and I just assumed you didn't want to be seen with this," He gestured to himself, an emphasis to a burn scar on his face and neck, "I never blamed you because, well, look at it. It just got kind of lonely," He rushed through his explanation quickly while he was already being vulnerable, hoping to just get it out quickly and get it over with. Roman sat silent on the other end.

"Are you still there? Did I lose you?" Janus got up and walked around to try and find a better data signal.

"No I'm still here, I just-" Janus sat in front of his window, getting an extra bar, "I'm so sorry you felt that that and that you didn't think you could tell me. I have never been and never will be ashamed to see with you,"

"Now I don't think-"

"Janus you're amazing, and I meant everything I said to you when you were leaving, and I haven't stopped thinking about you since you got on that plane,"

"I haven't stopped thinking about you either," Janus said softly, "But what are we supposed to do now?"

"I could move out there with you," Roman fantasized.

"Did you not hear my first answer?"

"Yeah I did, but it would just be us, and there wouldn't be anyone else to make you feel like a second priority,"

"Roman, I get your hurting, and while I'm doing fine by all means, I just don't think things would work out,"

"Yeah, I am doing fine Jannie,"

"I know Ro," Janus sadly smiled, "We're just peachy-keen,"

"Hey remember, when we first met, and you spent all your money to buy Minecraft and play with me?"

"It was fun though," Janus sighed, "Remember the first Halloween you convinced me to dress up?"

"And you(I) sat on my(your) lap to do my(your) makeup?" They said it together and each smiled fondly. 

"It took longer to get your mascara right than it did to do everything else combined," Roman laughed and we wiped away a stray tear

"You can't just put something with a hundred spikes millimeters from my eyeball and expect me not to flinch," Janus said defensively but with a light-hearted tone. 

"How about back in middle school we-"

"I thought we agreed to never speak of middle school again?"

"We did, but listen!" Roman laughed, "When we were 'dating' for like 2 weeks, and I said that we were like Barbie and Ken?"

"And then we 'broke up' over some weird video chat thing because you were insinuating I was Barbie and you were Ken when it was very clearly the opposite," Janus cringed back at their antics but softened when he looked back to Roman. 

"Okay then Mr. 5-foot-7!" Roman teased.

"It's not my fault you turned out 6-foot-2! The blame for that is entirely on you,"

"That rhymed," Roman pointed out.

"So I'm noticing," Janus rolled his eyes lighting, "Anything else?" He asked gently.

"Do you think that..."

"Do I think that what?" Janus asked when Roman still hadn't finished his thought after almost a minute.

"Do you think that this would have been better if we were never friends? Or never even met?"

"This wouldn't be possible if we had never met or had never been friends," Janus said, "But that doesn't mean it wasn't fun while it lasted,"

"I guess," Roman sighed, "It was really nice,"

"Closure?" Janus asked?

"Closure," Roman confirmed. 

"…Love you Roman,"

"Love you Janus," Roman said sadly as he kissed his fingers and blew it off into the camera. Janus pretended to catch it and pressed it to his cheek. Roman was the one to end the call in the end. He tossed his phone aside for a minute until he got it back out with his earbuds.

Naturally, he clicked in the worst playlist for the moment, one that Janus had made for him. Each song he skipped past he could only hear Janus's voice singing it to him with his meek "Love you" ringing in the back. 

"Roman?" Logan asked as he knocked on the closed bedroom door, apparently having come home earlier than expected, or maybe Roman hadn't realized how much time had passed "You sound upset, may I come in?"

"Sure," Roman sniffed and turned off the music, "Sorry," he mumbled as Logan came in and sat next to him on his bed.

"There's no need to apologize. You called him though, didn't you,"

"I had to know!" Roman threw his hands out from where his elbows were proper on his knees as he slouched. 

"Did it help any?" Logan asked apprehensively.

"Kind of? Kind of not?"

"Oh?" Logan wasn't sure what to say or what to do, so he decided to just let Roman talk more at him than with him.

"He said he'd never leave! And look at where he is now!" Logan bit his tongue that Janus had no way of knowing his job would relocate or controlling Roman's career's location, "I trusted him so much but I guess that was a mistake. How do I know that everyone won't do that to me? You'll probably leave me, and Patton will too. Hell, my brother already has and Virgil was Janus's friend so I can't imagine he wants me around anymore,"

"Okay," Logan stepped in to try and rationalize Roman's derailing train of thoughts, "I can't know what the future holds, but I do know I'm not planning anything that's going to force us apart, I don't know of Patton having anything upcoming to move him across the country, and Virgil has stated he quite likes you despite your differences,"

"But Jann-"

"Janus couldn't control this. He shouldn't have promised he'd 'never leave your side'- you two weren't literally or even figuratively attached at the hip while you were together- but he didn't mean to cause you this much anguish,"

"I know," Roman sighed, "I just don't know what to do," Logan hovered his hand behind Roman's back, giving him 3 solid and frankly awkward pats to his shoulder to try and console him. Roman chuckled slightly, so it must have worked. 

"Do you think it would have been better if I had never texted him back?"

"I was under the impression you reached out to him for the call?"

"Not tonight. 10 years ago,"

"Oh well... It's not like-"

"I kind of wish I never met him. Is that bad?"

"I'd call that an impaired judgment, so no, not necessarily,"

"Oh, I'm sober," Roman told him.

"You're still not thinking clearly because you're upset,"

"It just feels like it was all for nothing," Roman fumed.

"Weren't you happy when you were with him?" Logan asked legitimately confused, "I'm sure that's worth something,"

"That's what he said and I just- I don't know,"

"I see how you're seeing it," Logan nodded sympathetically, "Is there anything I can do to help you? Patton has somewhat of a tradition of eating ice cream when he's upset, would you want to try that?"

"Do we have rocky road?" Roman asked softly as he wiped his eyes.

"No, but I can be back with a half-gallon in 15 minutes," Logan jingled the keys on his lanyard still around his neck and left after giving Roman another pat on his shoulder, getting another gravelly laugh.


End file.
